Merry Christmas everyone. It’s been a while since I last presented a song here. I wrote the original version of “Santa’s Fantasy” in Sydney, Australia, in December 2007 as “theme song” for the christmas party I attended. It was thus first performed live about 365 ago depending on your time zone…

Almost one year on I decided to partially rewrite the song as a little Christmas present for my Australian friends. What you can listen to here is the result of the effort. I’m quite happy with it.

Many thanks to my sister, who sang the backing vocals and Sebastian Linke, who’s, as so often, the mastermind behind the drum arrangement. As usual, it’s a mostly VST based demo in 160kbps mp3 format. Enjoy!

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/santas_fantasy_0803000neues-projektp.mp3]

You can download it here.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=14]

(Click here to download (160bps, mp3))

I’m in Amsterdam this weekend, to celebrate the wedding of two friends. And while they were clever enough to avoid unwanted and unneeded presents by sending a list, I decided that I’ll add something more personal, sat down at the piano, and wrote a song. It’s called Guardian Angel, and I hope the happy couple enjoys listening to it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you, gentle reader, are so inclined, you may also enjoy it, by downloading the mp3 from the RSS feed, or simply by pressing play on that flash player below.

It’s a home recording, and much is VST based. Many thanks to Sebastian Linke for the drums arrangement, which he put together on a motorway at 130km/h with a laptop on his, well, lap. If you got the beat, you just got it… enjoy!

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/guardian-angel-final.mp3]

Guardian Angel, words and music by Tobias Schwarz, (c) 2007

In all these nights I couldn’t sleep
I lay awake tried not to weep
So torn apart I didn’t know there was
Hope for me beyond the rush
of emotional drugs

Some call it fate others a dream
Some say phenylethylamine
Some call it luck they just don’t understand
The truth I’m holding in my hand
When I’m holding yours

You give me strength, you make me weak
You are the sense to all the madness
I feel in me

I see your face
When I close my eyes at night
It dawns on me
Can’t live without you by my side
You save my life
With every glance you lay on me
My guardian angel
You’ll be watching over me
You’ll be watching over me

I live my life each single day
I count the hours you’re away
My blessed heart beats for you eternally
It knows that immortality
Is another word for love

You give me strength, you make me weak
You are the sense to all the madness
I feel in me

I see your face
When I close my eyes at night
It dawns on me
Can’t live without you by my side
You save my life
With every glance you lay on me
My guardian angel
You’ll be watching over me
You’ll be watching

You’ll be watching all the while
As I’ll watch over you
’cause I’m your guardian angel
I’m your guardian angel

I see your face
When I close my eyes at night
It dawns on me
Can’t live without you by my side
You save my life
With every glance you lay on me
My guardian angel
You’ll be watching over me

I see your face
When I close my eyes at night
It dawns on me
Can’t live without you by my side
You save my life
With every glance you lay on me
My guardian angel
You’ll be watching over me
You’ll be watching

You’ll be watching over me
You’ll be watching over me

Was ich aber im Januar noch nicht angedeutet habe, ist, daß die ursprüngliche Motivation für den Song nicht zuletzt das überaus spannende kreative Experiment eines Crossovers meiner als “adult contemporary” einzuordnenden Komposition mit der rauen Oi!-Punk Inspiration der SpringtOifel war.

Das höchst interessante und hörenswerte Ergebnis dieser Kombination – eine Ska Version des Songs – kann man dann auf dem demnächst erscheinenden Album der SpringtOifel – “Engelstrompeten & Teufelsposaunen” – verkosten. Als Vorgeschmack aber bieten die SpringtOifel “Mond über Mainz” und drei weitere Songs (allerdings nicht vollständig) als mp3 auf ihrer Webseite zum Anhören und Herunterladen an.

Und meine Version gibt es zum Vergleich gleich hinterher -

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=1]

Viel Spass!

This one is called “Sometimes I can’t believe”, and it’s about those moments when we feel that love is nothing but a strange illusion we cling to despite knowing it better, because we instictively feel that this denial is what makes our lives bearable. But in the end, it’s a realization that isn’t depressing as much as it is enlightening. As is the song – I hope. Enjoy.

As usual, it’s a VST based demo, 160kbit mp3, vocals by myself.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/sticb_cry_mastered.mp3]

My flickr photostream – meine flickr-Bilder

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=1]

Mond über Mainz
(©2006 Text: Sebastian Linke, Musik: Tobias Schwarz)

1. Strophe
Wenn im Fernsehen nichts kommt
Und das Glas ist wieder leer
Wenn die Lichter erlöschen
Und ich hätt’ gern noch mehr

Wenn die Straßen verstummen
Nur der Wind leise rauscht
Wenn die Ampeln nur blinken
Weil niemand sie braucht

Dann hat die Nacht uns erreicht
Doch ich bin nicht allein
Denn ich habe einen Freund
Und er spiegelt sich im Rhein

Refrain:
Mein bester Freund ist
der Mond über Mainz
Der dort klein am Himmel scheint
Wir sind seit Jahren schon vereint
Ich – und der Mond über Mainz

2. Strophe
Wenn dann alle verschwinden
Und auch das Glas ist wieder leer
Wenn das Licht plötzlich angeht
Und ich hätt gern noch mehr

Wenn die Schritte verhallen
Nur der Wind leise rauscht
Wenn die Türe sich öffnet
Und ich weiß Du willst es auch

Dann hat der Tag uns erreicht
Doch ich bin nicht allein
Und mein Freund hat sich verzogen
Und auch sein Spiegelbild im Rhein

1x Refrain

Bridge:
Und Du bist wie die Sonne über Mainz
Wie sie strahlt und wie sie scheint
Ganz so als wäre nichts gescheh’n
Wird sie auch wieder untergeh’n

2x Refrain

Ich werde zwei Feeds anbieten: Einen almostadiary-Feed, der sowohl meine Songs als auch alle anderen zukünftigen Podcasts auf almostadiary enthält, sowie einen tapsmusic-Feed, der ausschließlich meine Songs beinhalten wird. Beide werden demnächst wohl auch bei iTunes angemeldet und sind dann auch über den iTunes Music Store zu beziehen.

So, und jetzt zur ersten Episode im almostadiary-podcast, einem Song mit dem Titel “Still“.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/podcasts/Still_(changed)_160bps.mp3]

Im letzen Sommer bat mich mein Freund Sebastian Linke, den Titelsong für seinen Diplomfilm zu schreiben. Sein Film – “Pilù oder da andere Leben” -, dessen offizielle Premiere am 2.2.2007 gemeinsam mit dem Film “Pandemia” von Daniel Stümpfig stattfinden wird, ist ein mit den Stilmitteln des Werbefilms im deutschen “Suburbia” gedrehtes mystisch-existenzielles Drama, das zumindest ich durchaus auch mit dem Begriff “Generationenkonflikt” charakterisieren würde. Bezüglich des Titelsongs hatte Sebastian zunächst nur zwei Vorgaben: Die Fragmente “will you still love me when everything has changed” sowie “together we’re one” sollten auf jeden Fall einbezogen werden , und es solle ein “klassisches, poppiges Liebeslied” werden.

Das Ergebnis ist “Still” bzw. sein fast eineiiger Zwilling “Still changed“, der tatsächlich nur auf dem Soundtrack des Films zu hören ist, denn als der Song fast fertig war bestand Sebastian aus inhaltlichen Gründen für den Film auf einer Strophenphrasierung, die ich ablehnte. Wir einigten uns darauf, daß die Version mit “seiner” Phrasierung aussschließlich im Film verwendet werden würde.

Wer also “Still changed” hören möchte, muß ins Kino gehen – die nächste Gelegenheit dazu besteht, wie gesagt, bereits am 2.2. um 20 Uhr in der Mainzer Kulturkasematte. “Still” dagegen ist nur einen Mausklick entfernt…

My Wicked Ways is actually one of the first songs I’ve ever written – back in 1993. Back then I did not write lyrics for the song, so I added those last year when I listened to some of my “earlier” stuff. That’s the reason for the “Pt. 2″ in the title.

My Wicked Ways is actually not too wicked a song. It’s a light ballad and you can get the VST based demo as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed). Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, 1993-2005.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=3]

Lyrics -

My Wicked Ways, Tobias Schwarz © 1993-2005

(Verse 1)
I lived a shallow b-movie life
The kind no one needs to see
If you hadn’t made me
Change the script
I’d still wander round deprived

Lost myself on the road to nowhere
Until I found you

(Chorus)
Far beyond all things
You pull my strings
I would give my life for you.

(Verse 2)
For all the days and drunk blue nights
I’ve squandered with delight
I’ve never wasted any of the love
That was my guiding light

My world lies in your loving eyes
Can’t live without you

Chorus:
Far beyond all things
You spread my wings
I would give my life for you.

(Primary Bridge)
You save me from my wicked ways
Bring sunshine to my days
And my love is all I can give
You are my saving grace

Addicted to your blue eyes’ glance
Enchanted by your soft touch

(Chorus)
Far beyond all things
My heart just sings
I would give my life for you.

Far beyond all things
My heart just sings
I would give my life for you.

Dr Deaver is a song with less autobiographic lyrics than some may think.

Actually, I think it was a friend who suggested writing a song about a chapter headline he had read in a British sex education booklet for teenagers. The headline was: “Am I wrong to be turned on by porn?”

While not printed under Queen Victoria, the booklet wasn’t in line with recent progressive trends in sexual education and so the chapter about pornography was – while somehow understanding from a medical perspective – not too enthusiastic about such material’s potential for genital arousal. It was extremely funny to read and so I did indeed decide to write a song about “a guy’s lifelong relationship with certain visual stimuli.”

Dr Deaver wasn’t the author of the booklet chapter, but the name somehow appeared in my mind while I was sitting at the piano. So here he is, with an answer for everything you always wanted to know about porn but never dared to ask. Enjoy – but not too much…

You can get the VST based demo as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed). Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, 2004-2005.

I wonder how long it will take for google to send people here because of the frequent use of “porn” in this entry… oh wait, I did not use “free”… (oops, now I did).

[audio:http://tapsmusic.de/songs/Dr_Deaver.mp3]

Lyrics -

Dr Deaver, Tobias Schwarz © 2004-2005

(Verse 1)
I was thirteen years of age
When I got up on the stage
When I felt I’d like to see
Wonders of femininity

It wasn’t Tanja or Kathleen
Or another teenage queen
My first girlfriend lived between
The pages of a magazine

(Chorus)
Dr Deaver am I wrong
To be turned on by porn
Whenever I see girls in thongs
My heart sings and jumps
You won’t believe it but it’s true
No naked girls and I feel blue
Amber and Gina count on me
They need my love it’s clear to see

(Verse 2)
I had sex and fell in love
But I never got enough
So I tried feminism’s ways
And went through my hardest days

All those years I wondered why
I kept trying to deny
I wasn’t sure my mom said nay
But I know men are born that way

(Chorus)
Dr Deaver am I wrong
o be turned on by porn
Whenever I see girls in thongs
My heart sings and jumps
You won’t believe it but it’s true
No naked girls and I feel blue
Amber and Gina count on me
They need my love it’s clear to see

(Primary Bridge)
I have to say the real thing’s great
But there’s no reason to discriminate
No no no no
All you girlfriend’s don’t be blind
Just join the party in our mind

(Chorus x2)

New Year’s Resolution is another song that I wrote a while ago and now decided to put online – beware, there are a couple more of them. I wrote the first version in early 2003 and now arranged it with more electric guitars and a “twist of Keane”-piano in the background. I think it makes an interesting combination and that the sound – while obviously only a demo – supports the rather dark lyrics well. As usual, you can get the VST based, home-produced demo as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed). Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, 2003-2005.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=5]

Lyrics -

New Year’s Resolution (you’re ugly inside), Tobias Schwarz © 2003-2005

(Verse 1)
My new year’s resolution
Cut you out of my brain
This is no more symbiosis
Feels like cattle being slain

Your attitude is hideous
I cannot stand you no more
All your thoughts insidious
You’re a weapon made of whore

And I can’t find her anymore
The charming girl I knew before
What did you to her?

(Chorus)
You may look good
But you’re ugly inside
You broke my heart
And took my pride
Your beauty won’t last
And without a doubt
Love’s gonna get even
You’ll soon find out
You’ll soon find out

(Verse 2)
Got me drunk on magic potion
Drowned in your sparkling eyes
Thought your love could soothe my pain
But your heart is cold as ice

My new year’s resolution
No longer play your game
I won’t be the guy left standing
In the rain shouting your name

And I can’t find her anymore
The charming girl I knew before
What did you to her?

(Chorus)
You may look good
But you’re ugly inside
You broke my heart
And took my pride
Your beauty won’t last
And without a doubt
Life’s/Love’s gonna get even
You’ll soon find out
You’ll soon find out

(Primary Bridge)
No I won’t stumble
I won’t fall
I have to end it
I’ll stand tall
Breaking up will be my joy
Weapon unloaded end of ploy

(Chorus)
You may look good
But you’re ugly inside
You broke my heart
And took my pride
Your beauty won’t last
And without a doubt
Life’s/Love’s gonna get even
You’ll soon find out
You’ll soon find out

You may look good
But you’re ugly inside
But you’re ugly inside
You’re ugly inside
You’re ugly inside
You’re ugly inside

FCGO is an older song. I wrote it in the Summer of 2002 and occasionally revisited it thereafter, mostly because I wasn’t too happy with the lyrics. I started with four random words and two rhymes – Fool Cruel, Gone One. So that was a bit of an experiment… Now I quite like them, so you can decide for yourselves. FCGO is currently arranged with more audible electric guitars than most other songs I published here and so the song has a nice drive. Feel free to listen to the VST based demo as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed). Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, © 2002-2005.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=6]

Lyrics -

(1)
It was hard, hard to be your hero
When I found out about my broken wings
Oh I was cool, so cool it froze, it froze your heart
And I went on to tear, tear your heart apart.

I’ve been the fool
On the hill,
I’ve been in love with myself.

(Chorus)
Don’t you ever say never
Let us rise up to the sun
Our love will last forever
Our dreams were just a promise
Let us spend our lives in this bliss
In my thoughts you are forever
Mine until the end of time

Oh yeah
Oh yeah

(2)
It was too, too hard to find, to find the words
To tell you all that I wanted you to know.
I was cruel, so cruel to, to your heart
And never bothered to, bothered to be true.

I stood still
When the sign said ‘walk’
I was afraid of myself

(Chorus)

Oh yeah
Oh yeah

(Primary Bridge)
Now you’re gone and I’m on my own
I can’t believe I’ve really blown it
And I know I failed where you were right
But, baby, please save me from that plight.
I know I have those broken wings
And I know healing is just one
Of the things that you can do,
So why don’t we pull it through.

(Chorus)

The end of time
Mine until the end of time
The end of time
The end of time
End of time

The end of time
The end of time
The end of time

A very light and romantic tune I wrote for the wedding of two good friends last weekend. As usual, home-recorded VST based demo available as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed) and. Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, © 2005.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=7]

Lyrics -

(1)
You save my life
With everything you do
You do it every morning
When I look at you
‘Cos in your eyes
Is where I find
The answer to all questions
Weighing on my mind

(Chorus)
You’ll be there for me
Whenever I need you
I’ll be there for you
Whenever you call
You hold my head
When I had too much to drink
You’re my best friend
When I need a shrink
I know that you’re the one for me

(2)
You give me faith
‘Cos your love is strong
You make me feel at home
When the road will be long
You lead my way
Wherever we may go
You do it every evening
When we let our love grow

(Chorus)

(Primary Bridge)
Like Romeo and Juliette
But we’re gonna live instead
‘Cos our love’s never gonna fail
We’ll always hear the nightingale

(Chorus x 2)

Back in 2004, my home team Mainz 05 was finally promoted to the first division of the German Bundesliga after having been beaten on the last day twice in a row. First by asingle point, then by a single goal. It was a tragedy not many teams would have been able to digest, let alone beat the odds and be promoted the third time around.

But Mainz 05 is a special club in more ways than one. It’s a club that, above all, celebrates playing the game. But, then again, maybe that’s not too surprising for a football team based in a town with even more carnival tradition than Rio (sorry Roberta ; – I agree that the Cariocas have come up with something unique – but we’re just a little older over here).

So when Mrs. T., one of my fellow authors at www.fistfulofeuros.net, and native to Ireland, decided to honor the lads’ promotion with an English poem in 2004, I came up with the idea to write an English song based on the poetry -

“Climb wither though couldst not before
Now freed at last from gravity’s restraints
To the Empyrean on eagle’s wings
O thou heroic FSV Mainz”

However, even disregarding the “eagle” thing (Eintracht Frankfurt, a regional competitor uses the bird as logo), I just could not come up with a decent hook using these words, and eventually, I put the idea to rest for a while.

So it wasn’t until I read in the supporter’s web forum ““www.kigges.de” that fans were trying to translate some German songs and looking for suitable English material a bit more specific than the classic from “Caroussel” now that Mainz have been chosen to play in the UEFA cup qualifiers based on fair-play criteria that I decided to give the idea another go. I eventually decided against using Mrs T.’s poem, rewrote the lyrics, and suddenly everything fell into the right place – or so I think.

Now the song is called “Carnival Junkies”, a title that is not just a summary of much of what I think the team and their supporters are about, but also an hommage to the Californian singer/songwriter Cindy Alexander, who has written a song called “Carnival Junky” back in 2001 (I think).

For the time being, it’s a VST based, home-produced, demo and available as mp3 (128kbit, enclosed). Words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, 2004-2005. Note that I have not been able to stand to sing due to a leg injury… Please contact me about ideas for commodification, should you have any. Enjoy!

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=8]

Lyrics -

(Intro)
05 05 05 05 (x4)

(Verse 1)
Feels like we’re at home
In red in white we
Face the floodlight
You’ll never walk alone
In bust or boom,
Glory or gloom.

Don’t know why we
Feel that way
It’s been like that
Since our first day.

(Chorus)
Mainzer!
We’re Carnival junkies
who know how to play ball
We’ll never falter
We will stand tall (05)
Not for the money or for the fame
We just want to
play the game (05)
We’re Carnival junkies
Always up for a fight
You’ll feel the fire we will ignite (05)
For all the money and all the fame
We’ll stay the same
And win the game (05)

(Interlude)
05 05 05 05

(Verse 2)
We held our heads high
When we were down cause
We knew all the time
They may laugh in our face
We’d try again
We’d win the race.

Don’t know why we
Feel that way
It’s been like that
Since our first day.

(Chorus)

(Primary Bridge)
We’ll be singing when we’re winning
When the cups are coming home
When you ask what really matters
We’ll tell you it’s in our soul
We tasted our share of sand
We’ve been down there before
However tough, we will get up
You’ll know it when we score!

(Chorus x2)

Melancholic yet light song I originally wrote for solo piano and with different lyrics for a friend’s wedding in 2003. This weekend, I decided to write new lyrics and rearrange it. Home-recorded VST based demo in mp3 (128kbit) (enclosed), words, music and vocals by Tobias Schwarz, 2003-2005.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=9]

Lyrics -

(1)
Whenever I see you standing there
With other guys I just wanna tear
My bleeding heart right out of my chest
(cos) You don’t know that I’m the best

(2)
I would never boast or pick a fight
I just love to talk to you all night
But whenever you could notice me I’m gone
You’ll never know that I’m the one.

(Chorus)
My universe implodes
When you look at me
Your sapient eyes hold
The truth of young and old
(and) Only I can see
When you look at me

(When you look at me)

(3)
Will I find the strength to make this real
Will you ever get the chance to feel
Cupid’s arrow in your heart and soul
We’re two parts of a bigger whole.

(Chorus)
My universe implodes
When you look at me
Your sapient eyes hold
The truth of young and old
(and) Only I can see
When you look at me
When you look at me

Only I can see
When you look at me

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=11]

Lyrics (© 2005) -

So many questions to ask
So many answers blind and mask
So many secret lies to be told in the name of love
So many moments when to think this might end rough

So many crossroads to take
So many errors to be made
So many feelings to be hurt by the one we love
So many moments when we fear love won’t be enough

Here we are
Hand in hand today
We took our chances
We made our way
And suddenly we both knew
That it’s fundamentally true
I need you.

So many mountains seem too high
So many climbers who can’t fly
So many ghosts to haunt the future from the past
So many runners without a chance to last

So many years that pass too fast
So many that did not last
So many lovers who don’t deserve that name
So many who think that love is just a game

Here we are
Hand in hand today
We took our chances
We made our way
And suddenly we both knew
That it’s fundamentally true
I love you.

Oh I love you
Oh I love you
Love you so

And when we hear our two hearts long
To gladly sing their favorite song
It’s wonderful to sing along
When two hearts begin to beat as one

Here we are
Hand in hand today
We took our chances
We made our way
And suddenly we both knew
That it’s fundamentally true
I love you.

And suddenly we both knew
That it’s fundamentally true
I need you.

A song about a regular Texan guy’s blues in the White House, which I wrote in early 2003. Demo, vocals by Tobias Schwarz. The mp3 is enclosed in the podcast, but you can also download a 64kbit WMA file by clicking here.

[audio:http://almostadiary.de/wordpress/download-manager.php?id=12]

Lyrics -

- 1 -
I’m a regular guy from Texas
You know I can hardly read
Went to school to count my cattle
Hoping for oil out in the field.
But I can’t…

I’m a regular guy from Texas
They say I am born to lead
And they put me in the White House
Made me think I were a geek.

- Chorus -
But I can’t read.
I can’t write
I need Condi, and Colin,
To make the army fight
I can’t read
I can’t write
I wish Laura was here
to explain that shite

- 2 -
I’m a regular guy from Texas
Now I think I was born to lead.
I still can’t spell ne-po-tism
but it surely fits my needs
For I can’t

I’m a regular guy from Texas
I know I was born to lead.
That guy tried to kill my daddy
Made me wanna see him bleed

- Chorus -

- Bridge -
Yet I’m the leader of the free world
‘cos Florida can’t count.
And since the leather seats
on Air Force One are fine
I’m gonna run a second time.

- Chorus x2 -