but under no circumstances whatsoever should you repeat what this man in Chicago did because he had problems with his girlfriend in Poland. Dismembering yourself with stolen knives is definitely not a method to patch things up with a girl.

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them — his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

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Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik’s penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

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Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said. ( (Chicago Sun-Times)