almost a diary

Self Help Tip # 1.

I attended the first concert of a friend of a friend tonight. Just one man and his guitar. It was pretty much what you would expect from someone presenting his art on stage for the first time. So it’s not his performance I want to tell you about. Rather, I’d like to tell you about an idea conveyed in a little “self-help song” he sang.

So “When you’re weary, Feeling down, When tears are in your eyes” you might no longer need chemical bridges to cross your troubled waters from now on: Just imagine a sexual act performed by a well known politician of your choice.

While the therapy is certainly unusual and clearly involves some graphic indecent thoughts, I have to say, the song worked wonders for the audience – everybody was in stitches. But it is crucial to choose someone usually considered entirely asexual. Don’t pick George Clooney or Mira Sorvino and then complain to me the therapy did not work for you.

Maybe you should just give it try – next time you feel down, why not think of W in the Oval Office, playing with a Havanna. Or even better – think of him playing with little Talking President Dolls, just like Lord Dark Helmet did in Mel Brook’s Spaceballs.