We’ve come a long way. Honestly, this probably all there is to say when a German general heading the traditional French military parade on France’s national holiday not even makes a big news item in Germany.
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Schlagwort-Archive: German society
Naumann on Ze Tschermans
Michael Naumann, editor of Die Zeit is pondering in the leader of this week’s Die Zeit about stereotyping Tschermans as blonde beasts, Kraut bashing and the historical hand “we” have been dealt.
He’s basically writing about the same I wrote about in my Kraut bashing comment from January, re-posted below. But his perspective is rather different. I suppose that must be a consequence of his age, and, in return, the age of the people he interacts with.
It’s not his best article, top be honest. Naumann thinks that the Berlusconi remark is a useful indicator for the state of Europe and the way people think of Germany, and the Germans.
Such a statement could not be further from the truth. To understand this, it actually helps to read Mr Boyles review of last week’s European press I linked to below. No one thought that Berlusconi just called the Germans by their real name, and only a handful thought Berlusconi was even slightly funny, even in Italy.
Sommerloch.
Sorry for the recent lack of updates… my very own “Sommerloch” – “summer-hole” -, meaning lack of real news in July and early August.
I thought this year there was not going to be a big one in Germany, given the economic situation and the government’s reform agenda. Well, I might have been wrong.
Usually, the fact that nothing is really happening during the summer in conjunction with the fact that many journalists prefer to hang out in beer gardens, too, but nonetheless have to fill papers and airtime means that some bullshit story becomes blown up to an unbearable extent by free riders looking for some publicity.
Goodies from the past include a runaway Crocodile named “Sammy” terrorising a lake, and some Bavarian politician jokingly floating the idea of Germany buying the Spanish Island of Mallorca, as it is half German during the summer anyway. Of course, that would have probably lead to another war with HM the Queen, whose subjects tend to occupy the Island’s other half. So after filling “Bild” templates for a couple of days, the joke was silently buried. Usually, a single story won’t carry the day for the entire two months – as attention spans are invertedly proportional to the amount of time spent in beer gardens. But sometimes, those responsible for filling airtime and pages are just lucky…
Like right now, when the Italian Prime Minister’s Nazi slur is offering plenty of opportunity for all interested, mostly unknown, parties, to get some longed for publicity. Take the case of the previously invisible Italian Parliamentary Undersecretary of State for tourism (of all things!), Stefano Stefani (Lega Nord), who evidently thought that he had use the opportunity to utter something “nazi-esque” quickly, as long the fire was still burning.
So last Friday, he complained in a letter to Lega Nord’s party paper “La Padania” about uniform, “super/hypernationalistic blonds who loudly invade Italy’s beaches” [reader Hans Ze Beeman mentioned this in his comment to the previous post.] He also said Germany itself was “drunk with inflated self-importance.”
Inflated self-importance – he probably knows what he is talking about. The Austrian paper “Der Standard” has translated his article into German, should you care. I haven’t found an English version on the net yet, and I don’t think translating his remarks is worth my own precious beer garden time…
Translated or not, supernationalistic or hypernationalistic (the papers aren’t quite certain as far as the translation goes, and super [supra?] nationalistic rings a different bell in my head), the blonds and Schulzes, the Godfathers and publicity free riders on either side of the Alps are liekly going to stay with us for the forseeable future.
It’s just too good a show.
When the Chancellor’s Official Spokesman, Bela Anda, hinted that Gerhard Schroeder might consider cancelling his already planned private trip to Italy if he were not welcome, “Bild”, Germany’s most important tabloid, took the opportunity to try to prove its clout by keeping Gerhard in Germany, which, in return, has led Mr. Stefano to invite him to his own house at lake Garda to show his remarks did exempt at least certain Germans of his criticism – the Chancellor, for example – or his wife, who accidentally hails from Frankfurt… but then again, who knows. They are separated, according to Der Standard.
At a press conference yesterday, he boldly refused to regret his remarks, even in light of mounting criticism by scared tourism managers. But he did manage to say at least something helpful, albeit rather self defeating – in his very own opinion, Germans are intelligent enough to not to listen to an Italian Parliamentary Undersecretary’s rants when it comes to making decisions about their holidays.
Well, of course, normally no one would listen to him. That’s exactly why he wrote this article right now, when there was still a chance of someone picking up the story. So the consequences are not entirely clear, although very likely neglectable. They probably to some extent depend on the time German journalists want to spend in the sun.
However, Gerhard Schroeder for one seems to be “doing the Hanibal” this summer, given that the Junior Minister’s superior, and the Italian forign minister, have both officially regretted his subordinate’s remarks (see The Scotsman).
So there’s still a change there will be pictures of Schroeder invading an Italian beach with died blond hair, wearing camouflage Bermuda shorts and a European/German flagged t-shirt, firing from a pump-water-gun…
Way To Go: Germany On The Move
Sure, one has to be extremely careful when citing a sitting chancellor’s opinion that things are going well. But when Gerhard Schroeder opened today’s Bundestag debate by saying that “Germany is willing to change [economically], Germany is on the move” he is right.
It wasn’t his reform “Agenda 2010” in the sense that people think it contains the only possible measures to economically get this country back on track. They don’t know. And let’s face it, the government itself isn’t too sure about the specificities either.
What changed is the climate, the feeling that “this time, it’s for real”.
Suddenly, as I said about a month a ago, Germans seem to be willing to accept that the future is essentially unpredictable and that the governmentally created illusion that it were predictable was wrong all the time. Suddenly, the Jürgen Peters of this country are finding themselves on the wrong side of public opinion.
I don’t really know what caused the change in public opinion just now. But I am grateful that it finally did change.
Unintended Consequences.
The investigation against a Ukrainian criminal women trafficing organisation that has also led to cocaine possession charges against the tv talk show host and vice chaiman of the Central Council of Jews in Germany is having a positive side effects. Just as Mr Friedman’s home was raided and searched for cocaine because he had talked to call-girl-ring pimps whose phones were monitored by police, some German Parlamentarians seem to have become involved in this investigation.
Prostitution (but not pimpimp) is entirely legal in Germany so they could not be charged for indulging in sexual favours of East European women, but, well – for all our old European decadent open-mindedness – paying for sexual services is still something at least most public figures will certainly never talk about freely (But then again, there are public figures who used their party-paid-for airline miles for personal trips to Bangkok…)
So now German MPs are seriously annoyed about the simplicity with which “third parties” to an investigation can become dragged into a criminal prosecution and possibly have to bear the negative consequences of publicity, an argument made for ages by just about every privacy advocate with a public voice, including Green MP Christian Stroebele.
While I usually don’t agree with his loony-left arguments, I hope he is right when he says that (according to Spiegel Online) personal vulnerability could help MPs from all parties to rebalance privacy and security arguments.
Skandal im Sperrbezirk?
The ongoing investigation regarding a ring of east European women trafficers that has led to alligations of Cocaine posession against the German “political” talk show host and vice-chairman of the Central Council of Jews in Germany, Michael Friedman seems likely to become some sort of the Berlin Republic’s first Heidi Fleiss scandal.
Meanwhile, Sueddeutsche Zeitung reviews the Bonn Republics history of scandals and comes to the conclusion that there really wasn’t anything saucy… but now, luckily, things are about to change ;-).
American Girls Are Easy. German Guys Are boo-ZAH.
For the better or worse, in my experience it’s the same with American girls as with girls from anywhere – some are easy, most aren’t.
However, two self-proclaimed easy ones, Erin and Meghan, who are “young enough to pay an added fee on rental cars, but old enough to feel uncomfortable in college bars“, have written an internet travel diary during their not-exactly-back-pack trip to Europe last summer. And after that they sat down and compiled their experiences with “semi-disposable [male] EUrail-friends” (Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet) into a handy guide for easy American girls touring Europe – old and new – whose title slightly reminds of Kate Hudson’s latest movie effort (in which she played a certainly non-easy American girl) – “How to Find a Man in Europe and Leave Him There“.
Obviously, I was interested how the two Las Vegans on the run verbalised the impression my people (meaning German guys) made on them. Writing this kind of extrapolatory generalisation, especially tongue-in-cheek-writing this kind of extrapolatory generalisation is clearly difficult because you have to find the right balance. The balance between stereotypes and “grain of truth” as well as the balance between witty writing and inclusion of facts.
And Erin and Meghan do it quite well, although I have to say their verdict is overly strict sometimes as the travel dictionary indicates how much fun they had over here. Their essay is certainly much more about witty writing and stereotyped fun than about inclusion of data points and scientific generalisation. But that doesn’t hurt, and moreover, doesn’t come too unexpectedly – how many data points could one actually expect after a few weeks’ journey, even for easy American girls?
So after having read my (actually quite unnecessary) disclaimer, you can now go on to read their assessment of my breed in the entirety. Or just stick with some goodies…
“… A German man thinks arguing is fun. Just argue back for a while and before you know it you’ll have him laughing (maybe) and buying you a beer for being such a good sport. …
All the hype about German efficiency comes to a halt at four-way stop signs. Europeans do not understand the concept of line formation or one-at-a-time and Germans are no exception. Instead of smashing into one another, as is customary in many countries, Germans yield to car on their right. As you know, a four-way stop is a square, so there’s always someone on the right. As they can’t break “the rules,” there is often a long, confused delay….
Germans also save time when speaking. Every language cuts corners when it’s spoken, but German takes corner-cutting to another level. When ordering from a restaurant, a German would not say: “I’d like to have the schnitzel and fries, please.” He’d simply demand, “Schnitzel and fries.” Germans have weeded most niceties out of their language; being polite takes too much time….
If you’re lucky enough to find a good-looking guy in Germany, we recommend approaching him first because Germans aren’t the most brazen men. If you lack guts, you can easily manipulate the situation and give him a reason to approach you. For instance, crossing the street without the proper pedestrian green light will make him yell. And yelling can ignite a great conversation. … You’ll find it surprisingly effortless to get your German man target riled and screaming at you. Just keep smiling and keep cool and before long you’ll have a date Saturday night.
We advise against asking any questions about your appearance because you may get harsh answers. In fact, you may get harsh answers without asking any questions. If he dislikes the clothes you’re wearing, he’ll tell you. If he thinks you look fat, he’ll tell you. The same brutal honesty goes for questions directed at him. If you ask how he’s doing, be prepared for an extensive discussion about his gastrointestinal problems the night before.
A German man will know many gory details about your country. In fact, he can probably name more American state capitals than the majority of Americans. He’ll assume you know basic history (Everyone in his country does.), so to stop from coming across as a moron, try to fake your way around things you’re unfamiliar with…
If you want to give a German guy the cold shoulder, good luck. If you think his sense of humor sucks, wait until you see his people reading skills. He’s used to dealing with practical, direct Germans so he’s not going to pick up on your desperate subtleties. If you pull the, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to the bathroom” stunt, you’ll find him waiting outside the ladies room. If you try the bathroom trick eight times in one night he’ll think you have a small bladder. You’ve got to be direct.”
Oh, and of course – they have this pocket phonetic dictionary that will help you survive over here, certainly in these rough times of the transatlantic rift… and it proves the Erin and Meghan do really seem to understand German culture a little…
“A beer from the tap, please – Eye-n beer here.
Can I drive your car, please? – Gib meer dee shh-LOO-sell YET-zst.
Does your dog bite? – Bice-t dine who-nd?
Does your wife bite? – Bice-t dine-uh fr-OW?
Just because I’m blond doesn’t mean I’m perfect. – Halt dine moon-d.
Please don’t invade my country. – Hill-f mish.
Where can I recycle this? – Ish ha-BUH mule.
Why are you yelling? – Vuh-ROOM bist doo so boo-ZAH?
You should laugh, the joke was funny. – K-eye-n on-gst, eye-n fitz ist goot.”
Here’s to the dead. And the living.
The four German soldiers who died in last week’s Kabul suicide attack, Jörg Baasch, Andrejas Beljo, Helmi Jimenez-Paradies, and Carsten Kühlmorgen – the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th German soldiers to die in a (publicly known) sort-of combat situation after World War Two – were honoured today in a special ceremony at Cologne airport.
Earlier today, they were bid farewell by their comrades and Acting Commander ISAF, the Dutch Brigadier General Bertholee, at Camp Warehouse, Kabul. As any decent leader, he knew he had to adress the future while not forgetting about what happened –
“We can show our respect for the sacrifice that our comrades made in only one way. Continue our mission as well as we can; show determination; and make clear that we will not be intimidated. That will also help to overcome our grief.”
Not surprisingly, their work has seen a spark of interest in recent days. I suppose one thing the public could do is preserve this interest and remember that all those international troops are in Afghanistan not only to help an increasingly isolated Afghan central government survive against resurfacing warlords, but because we believe that our very personal security is enhanced by doing so.
They are some some of those who make people carry balloons instead of bombs. And they have a website that describes some aspects of their life – and sometimes their death – in Kabul.
Skydiving. The Life and Death of Juergen W. Moellemann.
There are a lot of things one could say about Juergen W. Moellemann. And I am pretty sure that the German media is going to say pretty much all of them in the coming days and hours of reporting the details of the circumstances surrounding his dramatic death earlier today, when he – in what clearly looks like suicide for an experienced parachute enthusiast who often performed jumps as campaign events – jumped, then separated himself from his main parachute and did not use the spare one. Only fifteen minutes before this happened, the German Bundestag had lifted his Parliamentary immunity and police had entered several of his houses and his company’s offices with search warrants investigating several charges, especially tax related campaign funding fraud.
Despite his political record as federal minister, his self-declared role as vocal advocate of Palestinian cause, and last year’s unfortunate and eventually unsuccessful attempt to push the German Liberals even further to the non-economic right than they had gone on their own – including some forays into what many said was a verbal anti-semitism previously unheard of in post-war German politics that caused a huge stir of protest, and ultimately led to his latest political downfall, the sort-of-forced resignation from the party whose deputy leader he once was – most people will probably remember Juergen Moellemann for his abilty to crash and rebound. The teacher-turned-politician’s all-too-evident desire for public attention was certainly helpful to achieve this. And his ability to perform a good political show is hardly matched by anyone in the German political arena.
Political commentators in Germany have often dwelt upon how Moellemann’s high-risk hobby reflected his high-risk political life. Today, it seems the latter one was indeed the riskier activity. He had manoevered himself into a situation where he apparently felt that no parachute would assure a safe landing.
So he decided he did not need one anymore.
PS: Check Stefan Sharkansky’s Shark Blog for English coverage of the story.
The Slow End Of German Corporatism
Almost unnoticed by the media, an important part of the medieval remnants of German corporatism was silently buried by the Federal cabinet today.
The ‘Meisterprivileg’ – master privilege – effectively keeping people from opening businesses in a lot of markets – mostly those with medieval guild-predecessors – by handing over the right to grant the permission to do so to the “guilds” of those who already own one. It certainly kept the returns high for those who were in the business and thus it was not too surprising to hear them scream today that increased competition will cost employment.
In the short run, this is a possible scenario. In the medium run, this reform is a major step to help create the sort of entrepreneurial environment this country needs so badly, especially in conjunction with the small business tax simplifications about to be implemented. Go Gerhard, go!